the Beautiful Flaws
by forevernever030
Summary: Clabastian oneshot.


_Sin from thy lips?_

 _O trespass sweetly urged!_

 _Give me my sin again._

 _Romeo and Juliet; Act I Scene V_

 **the Fall**

Sebastian, everything's crashing down on me right now. I thought it would be so easy. But now, I don't know anymore. What is right seems so wrong, and what is wrong seems so right. I always saw black and white. Didn't see grey, Sebastian. I truely didn't. Forgive me.

Selfishness. I feel it deep in my heart. I want to throw everything on the ground and run away from this hot mess. Why me, Sebastian? Why does it have to be me?

Jace walks toward me, and I can't look into his eyes. He asks me what's wrong. Everything, I want to tell him. Everything is spinning so fast, Sebastian, and I can't even catch a glimpse of it. I wish someone can slow it down. It's too fast for me.

 **the Diamond**

In the middle of the night. That's when everything happens, Sebastian. The curtain of the darkness covering the endless sky. It's when the wolves howl. It's when thieves crawl across the streets. It's when a girl holds the sword.

It's the time of oblivion. The time for the blinds. But do you know that the curtain sometimes has holes? That's what makes stars, Sebastian. So tonight, I pray to the stars. I pray to the beautiful flaws.

 **the Poison**

I think about us a lot these days.

 _And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat; and she gave also unto her husband with her, and he did eat._

The forbidden fruit, Sebastian. The temptation. And I feel it. But I can't do it. Because I'm not Eve. I'm Clarissa Morgenstern. And you are my brother.

Do you feel it too when you see me? Not just lust or longing for affection or approval. Do you feel the spark too? Or maybe that spark is just my imagination.

I see you at night, Sebastian. I can have you even without you. I can feel you even when you're miles away. I can talk to you even when you can't hear me. But like I said, night is the time of oblivion. So you drift away just when the sun rises. And I open my eyes, shedding my tears over your absence.

 **the Damned**

Everytime I see you, it's like a curse inside me is working. Surely you, Sebastian carved the curse inside my heart. And it can never be lifted. I see you, and I wish I haven't. Because you are the snake itself, and also my brother.

Everytime you press your lips against me, do you know how hard it is to resist you? To stay calm, push you away, and pull on a disgusted face, a mask? You'd never know what you make me feel.

Maybe that's why we are Morgensterns, Sebastian. The brightest star on the sky. The strongest flaw in the darkness, yet the fallen. The brightest burns away the fastest, dear brother.

And then comes the damage, and then comes the corruption, which all lead to the apocalypse. It's inevitable, Sebastian. It's what we do.

Mom asks if I'm ready. What do I say, Sebastian? It's simple, really. But like I said, I never saw the color grey. We only see what we want to see. But a lie comes out of my mouth. Mom nods, smiling at me. She tells me how proud she is of me. She tells me how much she loves me, and that she'll never stop loving me. I smile, Sebastian. Because that's the best I can do.

 **the Shadow**

It took me long time, Sebastian. To realize how I feel. Or maybe not. Maybe it was just matter of acceptance. Do I love you, Sebastian? I don't know. I don't want to. But nor did Romeo and Juliet. But my question is, who is Paris? I think I know. But I don't want to say it out loud.

Sometimes, I wonder what it would be if you weren't my brother. If I could feel your body without any pain. If I could talk to you without cringing. But I should stop. I shouldn't be longing for someone that doesn't exist. He's just your phantom. Nothing more.

 **the Masquerade**

I kiss Jace. That's what I'm doing, isn't it? I feel safe with his arms around me, whereas with you, I don't. But is it really a true emotion? I remember when I first met Alec. I also remember what Jace said about him. Can it be true? Am I just like him?

Sebastian, I don't want to hide anymore. I want to be brave. But what is the true meaning of bravery? I remember the fearless rune I made up. Does bravery mean fearless? Hitler was fearless after all.

I know what I'm going to do tonight, Sebastian. Then where does this anxiousness come from? It's all in my head. It must be. It should be.

 **the Ace**

What do you think this is all for, Sebastian? Where do you think will be out destination? What's the points of killing, loving, hating, and envying? We all die, after all. So our father's dead. And so many demons, too. So now what? Do we stop? No. There's no end in killing and hating.

When I think of you, I just wonder sometimes, what would happen after your death? More demons, more fighting, and more deaths. So why, Sebastian? Why do we kill and hate when there's nothing in return? As much as he is powerful, he doesn't know where he is going. I do. I know.

 **the Flame**

I look at the weapon in my hand. Tonight, Jace tells me. I lean against your bedroom door, Sebastian. You must be sleeping. I like it when you are. You look so normal. So innocent.

I open the door. For some reason, I want you to wake up. Run, Sebastian. Run away from the one true person who loves you.

I'll set you free. I'll let you rest. Clear your thoughts, Sebastian. Close your eyes. Don't worry. The darkness will pass soon. The sunlight will pour over your silver hair soon. I'll show you peace, brother.

Shh, do you hear that? Listen carefully. It's called silence. Isn't it good? You can put your mask away. You can sit down now. Because I love you. You're loved, Sebastian. And you're safe now. No more worries, and I'll sing you to sleep.

 **the Ashes**

One, two, three. I count my tears. Or maybe I don't. Because it rolls into each other and turns into one. I don't know about science, Sebastian. But I know that it happens. It doesn't need to be proved. We just know. Or more like, we adapt to the fact. We take it in because we need to.

The sun is rising, pushing away the darkness. Pushing away the darkness and the beautiful flaws. I bet you can see it too.

 **Please don't try to figure out the plot. It's all in my head. The way you take it in is up to you. I hope you liked it, and thanks for reading.**


End file.
